Story of the Month: August
Nurture Big Dreams
Pat Mitchell, former CEO of PBS and now President and Chief Executive Director of the Museum of Television and Radio in New York City, had always had big dreams of living a different kind of life. And since she was the first in her family to go to college, in a way she had achieved that. She taught at a local college, she lived what was deemed to be the good life with her husband. And yet she felt things were not quite right for her. A few years after giving birth to her son, she got a divorce and began reassessing her expectations and dreams.
“When I found myself on my own, having to support myself and my child, I began reevaluating if this life was what I really wanted or was I just fitting into the circle of expectations, which are very powerful in the South. That’s when I connected to an earlier dream of moving far away from this small Georgian town of 500 people. Maybe I could live in New York.
“My family was very much opposed to my moving, but I did it incrementally. I first moved to Virginia and then to New York where I had a job as a journalist with Look magazine. Nine months later, Look went bankrupt and I was out of a job. There were no magazine openings; the industry was going through a hard time. An acquaintance suggested that I think about television, because television was looking for women.
“I was unemployed in New York City, with a five year old child, no savings, no money. I started questioning, ‘Do I go back to teaching? Do I go back to Georgia? Or do I stay here and see what’s next?’A horrible time with huge amounts of doubt. I don’t know how I got through it. I did all kinds of odd jobs, waiting on tables at night. I knocked on every television company door in town. But I was over-educated or under-educated for almost everything. You get a lot of rejection, particularly, in television and it was hard to take it any way other than personally. Every day I was trying to decide, should I stay or should I go. And my mother was urging me to forget the dreams and be practical. Come home.
“I kept fear at bay until one night. After months of trying unsuccessfully to leverage odd freelance jobs into something that could pay the rent, I admitted I needed to borrow money. I borrowed it from my best woman friend, who probably loaned me more than she could afford. I picked up the money, left her apartment in the middle of a terrible thunderstorm, and got a taxi. When I got home I realized I had left my bag in the taxi. The loan and every bit of security I had was in that bag.
“That was it, it was time to pack up and head home, forget the big dreams, accept the condition of fear. Then my phone range and a voice asked, ‘Is this Patricia Edenfield Mitchell?’ I hesitated, remembering that strangers were one sure thing to fear, according to my mother. ‘This is Rabbi Goldberg,’ the voice said, ‘and I have your bag.’
“Within minutes, there he was, standing in the rain giving me back everything–my friend’s loan to pay the rent, my identification, my dreams. As I tried to thank him and tell him what this meant to me, he smiled and said, ‘Well, Patricia, everybody needs a rabbi sometime, and tonight you got yours.’ In place of fear and insecurity, I now had a rabbi and a month’s rent. I got a television job in Boston soon after, and the big dreams started coming true in ways I had never imagined.”
Iron Butterflies on their spiritual path often hear the spirit speak to them. Divine intervention guides them to where they are needed, towards their big dreams, keeping them on course with their true life’s path. Through the Rabbi, the spirit spoke to Pat, giving her a sign not to give up. Overcoming her doubts and fears and holding her dream was spiritual work. Finding the courage to let herself evolve rather than give up and retreat to the familiar was spiritual work. At the core of spiritual work is finding self-esteem, that we are worthy, that we can be more and realize our destiny, a destiny often better than we could have imagined. Along the way there will be signs and people who will gently guide us if we pay attention. And for these little every day miracles that open new worlds for us, we are deeply grateful.
Gratitude is an acknowledgment of our connection to everyone else. It’s an appreciation of the labors, efforts, and intention of many people who have enriched your life with all its joys and pains. Under the gentle guidance of many, you are shown your true purpose and awakened to the reality that you are not alone on your journey but rather a part of a mysterious whole. Your personal story develops in a larger, evolving context. Gratitude is the elixir of life, directly connecting you to your need for others, and they for you.
Grace and gratitude come from the Latin gratus, meaning pleasing, thankful. When Iron Butterflies are grateful they are in a state of grace, humbly tasting the wonder, the mystery of being alive. As a daily practice, gratitude provides wings that lift them to a higher self, a perspective where separateness is an illusion and thanks withheld a loss for everyone. Find the good, praise the good, and be grateful.